wow im am such an angry person when it comes to him. i have incredible amounts of resentment twards him for lists and lists of reasons. just today he text
D: Hello there
K: hey what's up?
D: chillin after the gym. you? how's work?
K: i bet the gym felt nice
D: i guess i'll talk to you a bit later
K: are you busy or something?
D: no
K: what's your problem?
D: you were short so i figured you were busy.
K: no sorry. work is good i had lunch with my dad.
D: yum
K: how was the gym?
now no response..
the worst part is why he continues to speak to me if he doesn't mean a stinkin word he ever says? oh and last night he told me he bought me something. why buy me stuff if you don't want me as your gf? have some respect for me man and tell me like it is. im so angry! my whole body heats up and my mind starts racing when it comes to him! ugh!!! i just want a clear answer from his mouth.

ooo im so hungry right now. my dad and i are going to lunch when tracy gets pack and im hoping we go to a restaurant that is not blowing the AC on full blast like we are at the store. maybe its my age or something but im the only one who works here that freezes all day long. there is no way i can win a democratic vote when it comes to voting on turning off the AC. plus i feel as though if linda has a strong enough hotflash she'd kill me before i even thought of turning the AC off.
well anyways life has been a lot less stressful the past few weeks with Dhizzle being gone. he came home last night and we talked with a bit of awkward tension. i think he enjoyed his time away from me too and im glad he did. im just a little nervous because i don't want the same old DK relationship we've been having. before he left he made it clear that he will never be my bf if that's what i want and only become my bf if i find someone new..well at least that's been my experience. if he doesn't truly want to be with me i can't keep ruining good relationships to go back to him. this is what i do..."bye perfectly sweet, attractive, trusting man who treats me well, im going to talk to the same boy who always breaks my heart and won't ever commit." im a real genius! oh well maybe now that he finally said no clear as day to being a bf i can move on. i ignored it but last night he still had the nerve to call me baby...really..baby ugh? whatever. it's amazing how that sweet word that once meant so much is now just another blah over used word that everyone and there mother use as a term of endearment. im over it already. my husband better have the cutest most loving pet name for me ever!